Three Weeks in May by Cherese Vines
Cast Interviews by Eliza Lake
Guest: The Matchmaker
EL: I’m Eliza Lake. Thank you for joining me again for Cherese Vines Charming Words blog interviews with the cast of Three Weeks in May, the paranormal romance by Cherese Vines. Today I have finally gotten the chance to interview the Matchmaker. Thank you for joining us Matchmaker.
EL: You’re a very hard person to track down. It’s like trying to get an appointment with the president.
MM: It is important that I am not disturbed.
EL: Right. Well, what should I call you for this interview?
MM: My true Monacurian name would be too difficult for your Human tongue. I am the Matchmaker. You will call me Matchmaker.
EL: OK. My name is Eliza. You will call me Eliza. Because as our readers know, you have a habit of calling people “girl.” So now that we’re clear on that, Matchmaker, I’ll be honest with you. You are one of the book’s least favorite characters. And right now, you’re not making yourself any more likeable.
MM: I am not here to be liked. I am here as a courtesy to the author.
EL: (clicks tongue) All right. Well, let me just get back to my questions then.
MM: That would be wise. I haven’t much time for your–.
EL: SO, what is a matchmaker?
MM: (clears throat) I am honored among Monacurians and by the Elder Council to ensure that all Monacurian unions are proper.
EL: Proper. I see. And you also approve Monacurian and Human marriages too.
MM: (hesitates) Yes.
EL: Mm-hm. So what do you do to become a matchmaker? Do you take an online course, send away for a mail order certificate?
MM: (pauses) Being a Matchmaker is a revered Monacurian tradition. Only a Matchmaker exhibits exceptional sensitivity to biological and chemical changes. You would not understand the Monacurian science involved. I was apprenticed as a true Matchmaker before we came to this planet and–
EL: Speaking of apprentices, where would I find Carmelita? She was apprenticing with you, is that right?
MM: I cannot discuss my apprentice. I have allowed you much more time and information than is customary. It is not the Monacurian way to discuss what I am.
EL: (mumbles) I don’t know what you are, but I know what I’d like to call you. (aloud) I see that secret-keeping is the Monacurian way.
EL: Well, can you tell us why you denied Elliot and Gwen’s marriage?
MM: That is my pronouncement. I have the right to approve or deny as I see fit.
EL: Oh, no one is denying your right. We just want to know why you exercised your right to say no.
MM: I see Humans are much too inquisitive. It is not the Monacurian way.
EL: Well then, I guess this interview is over because you do know that an interview is about asking questions, right?
MM: I am quite aware of your Human tendencies.
EL: I would say it was a pleasure meeting you, but that would be a lie. But I’m sure the author appreciates you taking time out of your busy schedule. By the way, that’s sarcasm, another Human flaw. And we’re done here.
MM: (rises and leaves)
EL: (shakes head) Thank you, Readers, for suffering through this interview with me. We unfortunately haven’t found out anything new about the Matchmaker, other than the fact that she deserves her place on the least favorite character list. Join me next time when hopefully I can track down Carmelita and see if all matchmakers are this snooty. But if it is just as difficult to find her, I’d like to hear from you out there. Who would you like to hear from next? This is Eliza Lake. Thanks for joining me.
*Note to Cherese*
Believe it or not I did hold my tongue. I honestly tried to be civil to that–woman. Anyway, let me know who you want me to interview next. I don’t think I’ll have much luck finding Carmelita, but I will try. I’m glad I didn’t interview the Matchmaker first. I was trying to save my Gwen and Elliot interviews for last, but I need some good vibes in here. Maybe I’ll interview Savannah. Let me know if that’s cool.